GillyRoze

I would like to see this happen on Wall Street and Capitol Hill

2012-02-14T07:15:00.001-05:00

My dad thee Arteest

2012-02-12T06:04:00.003-05:00

I love these long exposure star shots

2012-02-12T04:12:00.001-05:00

Ma Sis & Alona

2012-02-10T09:51:00.002-05:00

Hysterical (hebrew)

2012-02-07T02:58:00.002-05:00

My Lovely Mom

2012-02-07T00:54:00.002-05:00

Fire Aurora Borealis

2012-02-06T05:15:00.001-05:00

En Hod

2012-02-05T02:16:00.002-05:00

Slowly buy surely...

2012-01-31T08:05:00.002-05:00

"Never let is be said, I was untrue" ~ DCD

2012-01-30T13:01:00.002-05:00

In a reflective mood I am and although this page may not shine, off of it I bounce my thoughts today. I am with a girl on whom I don't want to fuck around. When tears flush her eyes it pains me and this I like to avoid. Whether she does it before me or it is an imagined scenario, my emotions stir. I don't like it and become vexed when they do. Weird as fuck but, I am being selfish in-that I don't want to be with others and cause this to happen to her. I've abused my body for what seems like forever or, what in reality, is soon to be 31 years. This, that, or the other thing, mattered not, whatever poison I can find, was deemed fit by me to ingest or inhale. I was told many a time to treat my body like a temple but I found nothing holy. Still not sure I do. Was like asking for empathy from a psychopath. You'd be met with a stare as blank as that which I share with Israelis when their words sound like strings of mush to me. While investing 0 fucks and putting in minimal effort with what to move my lips "MAH???" is the sound that exits my mouth while my eyes seem glazed over and dreamy.

Rip having his morning fix

2012-01-29T02:50:00.001-05:00

Rips day of pinook

2012-01-28T14:01:00.002-05:00

Badass Class

2012-01-22T13:16:00.002-05:00

Who knew Rip can write so eloquently

2012-01-22T10:19:00.003-05:00

"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist" ~George Carlin

2012-01-20T14:54:00.000-05:00

I sometimes try to explain to people what I miss about home while I'm away for extended periods. It goes something like this: While home, a friend may come, pick me up, and together with other friends we may go out to a bar, lounge or something of the sort. The whole night I wouldn't have to open my mouth. Meaning, they know me, they know my past and are more than familiar with who I am and what I'm like. While away, on the other hand, I have to constantly flap my lips while in the presence of new people. This, so that I can give them fuel with which to get to know me, my ways, my past, and again, who I am. It is frustrating at times because I like to be quiet and study my surroundings. Sometimes I find I have much to contribute to a conversation but haven't the energy or the care to share, allowing people to babble on and on while my inner thoughts are screaming "Shut The Fuck Up Already". I'm trying to keep from becoming jaded because when that happens I quickly get bored of my surroundings and want new ones. More so than anywhere else I've been, I feel Israelis are selfish and care more for themselves and their pockets than they do the world at large. Ethics in business is a foreign term here. I recall researching gun laws in Israel before coming because I like to keep a firearm at home wherever I rest my head but too strict they are and make them nearly impossible to attain legally. I've come to the conclusion that if ever I'll need one, the process I'll have to follow to get hold of it would involve giving some lanky 18 year old soldier a Brooklyn style stomping and taking one from him as one would a lollipop from a feisty child. The language barrier is annoying and I sometimes find it difficult to offend people properly. This I will have to work on.

Weekend in Jerusalem

2012-01-14T14:07:00.000-05:00

Yum!

Mt Spice

Mmmm Braiiinnzz

Coptic church

A request made of Jesus by someone next to his grave

Some other crap

Jesuses grave

Dustin Humphrey, surf photographer

2012-01-12T02:21:00.001-05:00

Gillys 2011 Review

2011-12-31T23:30:00.004-05:00

My friend Nervous suggested I post a review of the very eventful year that just passed and so here.

They say, you can take a mad person going berserk to the ocean and he will immediately calm. In my opinion, it's because you see this godly mass of water that is somehow contained. Japans tsunami is the reason the mad calm. I was mesmerized, amazed, shocked and sad for the Japs. Seeing this mass of water swallowing in one gulp so much land, homes and cars drifting away or even exploding
from all the water filling it. Utterly spectacular. There's no doubt we're all already exposed to Fukushimas nuclear leak. Couple of weeks ago I was translating material from Johnson and Johnson, a client of ours, and there were several pages explaining they have found some devices made by other suppliers of theirs with radiation on the electrical parts bought from Japan. Basically, they were making sure we dont use products from japan to construct the computer systems we make for them. J&J is a rather large and ethical company. These are rare. Others have no problem using their contaminated parts. So yea, that new baby monitor you got for your newborn, probably radioactive.

The way I look at it, the Occupy Wall Street movement and the protests in Zuccotti Park

are a result of some well spoken dude, an honest looking Black/Hawaiin man who may or may not be muslim, talking about wanting change around 4 years ago. His name rhymes with Osama and although it was unintended, this jackass who lied about bringing change planted a seed that grew in the minds of the youth (his biggest support group). This is why we now see the 99%ers. I remember once reading the story below:

Indian Chief ‘Two Eagles’ was asked by a white U.S. government official, “You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress and the damage he’s done.”

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion where did the white man go wrong?”

The Chief stared at the government official and then replied, “When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.”

Then the chief leaned back and smiled, “Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.”

Somewhere between the time Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' speaks of and now, what happened is what I call "The Retardation of Society". Technologically more advanced yes, but, together with it came a twisted system and way of life that molded the world into one that is far from Ideal. Cruel and evil even. I'm not sure, if ever in history, there's been a global revolution the likes of which we're seeing. I wish it were possible, what OWSers keep saying about peaceful protest. It Isn't, we are dealing with elite types that see the deaths of hundreds of thousands as profit because they own bomb factories. They will use their influence or position in government to kill citizens of their own countries using the police or military. This, to protect their capability to make billions. I understand greed, but the world, it seems, has become irreversibly corrupt. Governments are structured in an unnecesserily complicated way. A way that is dificult for an average layman to understand. Confused, people are, and so instead of trying to understand, realize how fukt the establishment is, they tune into CNN where a member of said establishment has produced a daily drama series like 90210 or Law and Order that they dubbed "Daily News" and script the info that is fed to your brain. Not only that but they poison it by spending 50 out of 60 minutes of their allotted time trying to scare you, depress you, or to sway your thinking to agree with whatever is on the list for the day.
So, having long ago realized the general world population are a bunch of easily misled, programmable shmucks, the US Government managed to convince the world that they have killed Osama Bin Laden. Ya know, the same guy the US Defense Dept and CIA worked very closely with to kick Russias ass in the late 80's. I mean listen, when you want to use this Mt. Everest sized mountain of money America *had in its reserves because of many years of taxing prosperity, you need to start wars. It's simple, a soldier on the ground in Afghanistan will be on patrol and see a glimmer in the mountainous distance, call in air support to drop a $500,000 JDAM on the glimmers location.

Cost of manufacturing bomb probably 10k.Cost of production videos with Osama reading threats saying "Death To America" from scripts written by the CIA, 50k. Starting a new world order, PRICELESS. Anyway the backwards way in which our world works is probably the biggest conspiracy in human history.

Probably involving a select few world hyper elites who descended from the founders of the current world order. These people want the world economys to crash.

Not only for me but for others as well interesting things have gone down. One example is this vid bouncing around the web with Libyas Qadaffi being anally raped with a long knife after his people revolted, somehow armed themselves, and with their combined vigor and balls of steel, squashed his army, killed most of his family and then after brutally beating and molesting him, a bullet they put through his brain. Just picture, a man who is accustomed to only the luxuriously fanciest, comfortable and finest a life, having a mob of 2,000 militant types showing you the polar opposite of that as you spend your lifes last moments.

As for Egypts Mubarak, alls I can say is that you dont flaunt the things you robbed in front of all the people from whom you've robbed them. Pin stripe suits when looked at under a microscope show his name Hosni Mubarak in the stripes, $100,000 a suit. Wealthiest person in Egypt and how you ask? By stealing everything from his people. The man thought he was a pharoah. Funny how confident and healthy he looked during his reign and now on tv, in his court appearances, they wheel him in in a wheelchair looking all sickly and weak, an obvious and desperate ruse .
I remember when the initial days of the Arab spring in Egypt when the protestors were calm and civil. Saw a video of Mubaraks envoy plowing through a crowd of people. Rag dollish, in every direction bodys flew.

This year there's been more self immolations then there has been in the past 5 years combined.
This uber extreme method of protesting is one I'll never comprehend. I guess am not spiritually inclined. I think I understand the message they are trying to send but they fail to realize that those in control dont digest this messsage in the intended way. They are used to not giving fucks, and so why would they be anything but happy that an annoying voice was silenced.

The wailing North Koreans, to me is an interesting phenomenon. The way he influences his people is similar to the way a cult leader does his followers. It seems like their really emotional over this out there. Still, they might be acting. So the son, Kim Jong-un

In my opinion, if he really will have control of the country, he will change this satellite image

from a baron, lifeless country to one that will thrive and glow like the south. Educated in Switzerland and most definitely savvy as to the internet, he may just be what NK needs.

Song for the moment:

The current

2011-12-26T04:09:00.000-05:00

Incredible how many changes are taking place in my life. I knew I needed this but had no way of taking action. Changed countries, homes, jobs, found an amazing partner, now living with said partner, new car... Truth is I was sick of my life and what it's become back in NYC and am bear hugging the opportunity that was given to me to reinvent myself here. I am still me but my atmosphere has changed and from the inside out I am arranging things in the order that fancies me best. In the order I always thought things should be. I knew I needed a good girl to share life with and to feel complete. This I was given. The novelty of being in Israel has faded but I am wholeheartedly embracing the current stage at which I stand. The one where I am becoming settled and accustomed to my surroundings. One where routine kicks in. Routine, so long as it isn't boring is fine. It is a routine that consists of seeing new things, taking new steps and enjoying new life stages. They are happening concurrently but overwhelming it isn't. It's fun.

2011 in one pic

2011-12-21T02:41:00.001-05:00

2011-12-19T00:45:00.001-05:00

Car Burning Dead Sea

2011-12-18T07:33:00.001-05:00

Dead Sea

2011-12-17T16:15:00.001-05:00

Bandit's Roost - 1888 Old School NYC

2011-12-13T09:13:00.001-05:00

The fuck?

2011-12-11T02:56:00.001-05:00

A Models Pose

2011-12-08T08:59:00.001-05:00

It seems Rip is in Love

2011-12-03T13:05:00.001-05:00

My Girl & I

2011-12-02T00:22:00.001-05:00

Go karting in Haifa w/Alona and her friends.

2011-11-30T04:16:00.001-05:00

Ida taken 1st had I not gone NY on em and smashed into everyone.

Karolina - Af Echad

2011-11-29T02:09:00.001-05:00

Good tymes

2011-11-27T16:20:00.001-05:00

I am among true occupiers here in Israel. We are surrounded by and intertwined with ayrabs. You can tell them apart off the bat. Most look like the offspring of people who were/are deformed. I should mention, I quarrel with no one until they crap in my lawn and have no problem with hard working people like the many ayrabs are. Certain smells remind me of times I've visited and I'm then reminded --- I now live here. A warm feeling I get. It's like some switch was turned on somewhere upstairs that says now is Gils time. So, I run around in this Peugeot 206 I picked up, I keep Rip more company then he's used to and am reaching a level of appreciation for music unlike any before. For an eternity I had to keep to myself myself (take a sec)... I would not give nor would I care to take. Kinda like parve ice cream or cake. Always on the "never getting married" tip. If I was given just a minute chance of someone possessing some of the qualities of a great girl, Ida been ecstatic. I wasn't though, the switch has been flicked and my "luck" is beaming. I'm in a familiar place, one of possibilities, where what happens is things. A place into where I was always told things will fall. I never believed.

...

2011-11-26T03:56:00.001-05:00

The art of Michael Lisowski

2011-11-26T02:41:00.001-05:00

Current times

2011-11-26T02:28:00.001-05:00

The current

2011-11-22T10:49:00.001-05:00

I'm finding it very much liberating to live here in Israel. So many changes. I feel that here I can conform people and things to my liking rather than having them shape me. I kinda feel like for over 30 years I've been swimming through muddy waters looking for a place where I belong. My home. It's a certain comfort that's taking me back to times I used to dream big and felt I can change things. All this seems possible again. In a way I feel like the only person living on earth. This because I am very much in my own world. Different I am and I care not. I feel misunderstood but it really doesn't phase me as I can't expect a herd to understand why they're being herded. People in this country see some sort of novelty in me because I did Aliyah. Whenever I mention it to people I get tangled in an exchange of words that lasts long as fuck. Also, I think people here feel Americans are easily led on or taken advantage of. Nugga, I'm from Brooklyn. Here I am, home from work, music blasting, reminiscing. Not long ago Danman asked me if I miss NY and was surprised when my reply was "fuck no".

Inspiring

2011-11-17T13:38:00.001-05:00

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY, CA. It was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Missouri.

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man...
What do you see nurses? . . ... . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... . . . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . .. . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .... . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . .. . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .... . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . .. . You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . .... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . .. . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . .. ... .. Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . ... A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . .... . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . ... . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .... . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . .. . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . ..... And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ... . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . ... Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . .. . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . ... . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . ... . . Look closer . .. . See ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too!

Ego Sum In Diligo

2011-11-16T16:38:00.001-05:00

Whenever asked why it is I don't smile often I am reminded of the shit that i try to forget in regards to what goes on in this world. The act of not smiling often or of not being happy-go-lucky, like my dog, isn't caused by some recent thought or immediate occurrence much more so than it is by the manifestation of a jaded depression. Absolutely sickens me to see Mayor Bloomberg throw around his cronie cops arresting and abusing innocent people that see through the tint people like the Bilderbergs plastered around them as if saying "alright you had your little time to have fun here in Zucotti park now go home you little vagrants". It sucks to say this but we need to beat some people in congress and the senate much like the Libyans did when they captured Qadafi until they accept the change that's coming. I don't agree with the majority saying peaceful protesting is the way to go. Our governments (worldwide) should be taken back from whence they've strayed, the American way, with numbers and guns. On a lighter note - definitely going through some chemical changes here in the holy land. I'm pretty sure I know who the culprit is... Life feels more real. I can say with confidence that I will move and shake things in this little country.Gut feeling.

Moooood

2011-11-16T13:31:00.001-05:00

And I thought my dogs breed was huge

2011-11-14T02:25:00.001-05:00

Good Things

2011-11-08T05:12:00.001-05:00

I've been saying it's been a while since I've felt the way I do. Truth is I never felt this way. Although crap from the past is still somewhat covering up (like resin) the feeling of ecstatic happiness I know I want to feel because of where I currently stand, still, I see amazing things and great times lying ahead. Never before have I met someone who I seriously feel can compliment me well in the years to come, one who I feel may be a good mother to my kids. It is an exciting and at the same time wonderful thing to have had this happen to me so soon into my integration here. I imagine the content on this blog may just be influenced by this beautiful person in the future.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Road Trippin' [Official Music Video]

2011-11-05T13:06:00.000-04:00

Manu Chao - Me gustas tu

2011-11-04T04:05:00.002-04:00

Integrating in Israel

2011-10-23T15:48:00.000-04:00

Ya know, life is weird and you can find yourself in random places at any given time. Right now I lay in my flat in the town of Hadera in the center of Israel. It's kinda hot but I'm avoiding putting on the AC and instead opened all the windows. My place is scantily filled with the basics. I await a cousin of mine who will be bringing me a fridge. I scored a tv, bed, coffee table, tv table, some chairs for the island I have in the kitchen and all the necessities to fill a kitchen very graciously given to me by a distant family member. She will soon be receiving a thank you card. She will probably be surprised as I imagine this isn't done very often here. Still I will stick to proper etiquette and take the 5 minutes to write one. Oh, I also I have a large cabinet that I can fit all my clothes in. Work is good. I am being paid the same as a Nigerian but I will keep from scamming as I live in a land that is plentiful and the money is definitely not the reason I came here. Hmm, I do worry though about being able to keep the essentials I need to survive. As they say here " Iye beseder" It'll be ok. My dog is my base, my anchor. He was bit by another Israeli dog and was bleeding profusely over the weekend. I repaired him and he is now laying next to me watching intently as a miniscule ant walks by his nose. It is too small for me to care. I find I am luckier here with the ladies then I am back home. Women will come and go here and I will pay mind to them as much as I do pages in a magazine as I flip through them. This, until I find one with whom I want to settle. I will write more here about my integration into Israeli society but for now I must tend to the wound that I am trying to keep from being infected on my dogs ear.

Live feed of NYC protests.

2011-09-19T20:11:00.001-04:00

Watch live streaming video from globalrevolution at livestream.com

This link contains amazing fruits of knowledge

2011-09-14T16:27:00.000-04:00

knowledge

Where I want to be

2011-09-13T10:55:00.002-04:00

Observations

2011-09-13T10:49:00.000-04:00

I'm currently staying at my brothers out in Long Island. It's calm and serene here unlike Brooklyn. It's a good place to come and relax, to reflect. I'm using my time here to detox from cigarettes. It's about time I quit those damn things. I'm free of any other foreign substance these days and this is the only one that remains.
I find it very funny, but at the same time not, that friends keep telling me they quit using drugs/taking pills while it's obvious that they did not. They wouldn't be so boisterous and loud, so oblivious to the people around them, looking at them with fear and disgust. It is embarrassing to be around them and I find it very odd that I never noticed it before. I guess I too was loud and obnoxious and never once looked at myself and my actions and asked, what the hell are you doing? I guess now that I am clean, I am a lot more reserved and conscious of my surroundings, of other peoples right to speak, of their opinions and their space. No longer a jerk unaware of his disposition.

Click

2011-09-12T15:56:00.002-04:00

Beauty

2011-09-12T10:25:00.001-04:00

Today was a good day

2011-09-06T22:31:00.001-04:00

Today I noticed something significant. For the first time in a long time, I woke up happy. This feeling is alien to me. Normally I'd wake with a terrible feeling of hopelessness and depression. I think this is because I didn't see anything good happening anytime soon. I keep a positive attitude these days and I guess its karmic habit force that has finally kicked this in and made it emerge through the years of guk that was covering it. Lots of things are happening that I don't want to mention as I don't want to jinx myself. All the things that are happening, in my opinion, is a direct result of the positive attitude I keep, the daily meditation and also the tools and techniques I picked up in the passed couple of months.

Current

2011-09-06T01:28:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, I don't feel like I'm soon moving to Israel. I know that I am but it doesn't feel like it. I know that anything can happen and so with my luck I'm thinking some crazy shit will happen between now and the time when I'm supposed to go (around a month). Anyway, this city is shit. I hate Brooklyn. I was in the Bronx today and I hate it there too. Was at a Yankee game with Zo. I'm definitely not a negative person so this must just be true hate for the crap city I live in.

Nuru Kane - 'Goree' From the album 'Sigil'

2011-09-04T14:32:00.000-04:00

Wolf in the cold

2011-09-02T20:54:00.003-04:00

Mind = Blown

2011-09-02T00:12:00.003-04:00

Current Read - Iron John, a book about men. By Robert Bly

2011-09-01T23:49:00.001-04:00

A great (poetic) book about the lack of true manliness in men since the industrial revolution. Given to me by my counselor at the Betty Ford Center.

My fancy is tickled

2011-08-31T10:50:00.003-04:00

Classy as fuck

2011-08-30T00:21:00.004-04:00

The internet thread of all internet threads.

2011-08-28T18:25:00.001-04:00

Thread of the AWESOMEST places on the internet.

And another.

Rip fetching his leash.

2011-08-28T16:53:00.002-04:00

Hurricane Irene

2011-08-28T00:10:00.001-04:00

There's something extremely calming about sitting, relaxing and reading a book or meditating while there is so much chaos and commotion outside. I always loved contrast and this a great example of it.

Sick Shot

2011-08-26T21:08:00.002-04:00

A couple of internet stores I used to have. Thanks archive.org!

2011-08-25T16:45:00.002-04:00

Meditation

2011-08-23T15:20:00.004-04:00

Israeli Defence Forces Army Reserves

2011-08-23T12:38:00.006-04:00

I am soon moving to live in Israel where a lucrative job and nice place await me. Also, I am bringing Rip (my dog) along and so things will be good. I have already discussed with the military people there that I will be joining the Army reserves. This may sound weird but, I dont mind if there is a war and I'm called. Why? A- I will join the ranks of others in my family who have kicked ass in order to preserve our heritage. Like my pops who fought in the 6 day war and the Yom Kippur war when renegade ayrabs were advancing from every angle or B- So I can die a warriors death instead of ODing on pills or being hit by a city bus.

Mooooood

2011-08-21T19:49:00.002-04:00

Detailed Review of The Betty Ford Center

2011-08-21T09:24:00.006-04:00

The past 30 days were nothing like I expected when I set out on this trip to the Betty Ford Center. I had no clue I was in for a boot camp type experience, no clue there were all these frikin rules that if broken would get me kicked out, no clue I would make genuine life long friends whilst there.

Our days start with a rude awakening at 6am by one of our peers who was assigned "the wake up job". At 6:15 I'd find myself @ Ottenstein Hall waiting to get my daily dose of meds. 6:30 was breakfast at the "chow hall" as a fellow dormy Harold would call it. Harold is a Native American trying to beat his 24th DUI. A menacing looking, tattooed up ex con who turned out to be a truly beautiful soul. It's really something to see people come in Detoxing at Ottenstein Hall looking lethargic and half dead (I was one of these guys) and after a couple of days life would come back to them and their eyes would again sparkle. So, after breakfast we'd smoke some cigarettes and shoot the shit until 8am when we'd have meditation in our common area (the pit). I learned some breathing techniques that would help me to reach a contemplative state and get answers for important things going on in my life by he who's aura is blue and smiles all the time. That goes on until 8:30. At 8:45am we go over to the James West lecture hall to hear just that, a lecture. Topics varied daily and would include lessons on how our addictions affected family members including children who would often think it was their fault that daddy was all fucked up or it might be about the science behind addiction and how our brains become damaged from prolonged alcohol or drug use. Dr. Harry once shared, 3 sets of mice were taken and fed meth, given alcohol and the last set was bopped on their head with a blunt object causing acute brain damage. The mice's brains were then sent to the top brain scientists around the world and they were asked to identify which were which, they could not. There was no difference between those hit on their heads and those using meth or alcohol. Lecture ended at around 9:30am at which time we would have to make our way back to our common area in whichever dormitory hall we were assigned to. As we sit there we are all asked what we have learned at the lecture and how we feel on that particular day. 10am, we would go to our "small groups". Small group was an hour and a half session where you and around 6 other guys from your hall would sit in a circle and share (again) how you feel on that particular day. We had a counselor who would moderate these sessions. These counselors are expert addiction therapists and I was blessed to be assigned one who was the manager of all other counselors at BFC. A truly unique fella who would make me feel like I was back in grade school and called into the principals office when I stepped out of line. Truth is if I didn't have this guy as my counselor I would have fucked around and probably not taken anything seriously. Couldn't get away with that while in this dudes small group. So we'd have assignments that we had to present while in this daily session. 10 consequences were one of them. We would have to make a list of 10 consequences of our drug use. We would present them and then the other dudes in the group as well as our counselors would give us their opinions on what we shared. This was the first time I was ever in a group therapy setting. It was strange for me to share such personal things with people who I just met. It was also life changing. We would also have to present our "1st step" which were an assortment of questions like "Name a few things you would consider insane behavior you've experienced as a result of your drug use". Then, "what are 3 feeling words you felt as a result of this behavior". Another question would be something like "name a few things you should have been doing but instead chose to use drugs or alcohol" and again "what are some feeling words you would use to describe how you felt as a result of doing this". There was something like 15 of these questions that comprised our 1st steps. Again, when we were done presenting them our peers would give us their opinions on the answers we provided and of course I would do the same when they presented theirs. Last project in Small group which we complete in our last week there was called out "time lines" We would take a huge oak tag type of paper 4 feet tall and around 7 feet wide and draw a line across the middle. We would try and recollect every good and bad thing that happened to us since our births and write the positive things on the upper part above the line in the middle and the negative shit on the bottom below the line in the middle. I remember around the age of ten in the year 1991 my dad punched me in the stomach and so obviously that was on the bottom of my timeline. Again, peers and counselor would give their input as to our time lines. And so, 11:30am we'd be out of small group and again smoke some cigarettes until 12pm at which time we'd go get fed some more meds and have lunch. At 1, I think twice a week, we'd have what's called specialty group. Different specialty groups for different people and their own unique problems or addictions. I went to one called "Opiate hour" where us opiate addicts would sit in a circle and share how we were sucked in to the world of opiates and what we plan on doing to avoid it happening to us again in the future. I think in the first week I was there I offended some people by speaking first and mentioning that I think people who shoot up are far worse than I am. The next person that spoke would go on about how he shot up $500 worth of heroin a day and I felt like a dick. From then on I realized I am no better than those people. This was moderated by the main physician there, Dr. Golden, an ex opiate addict himself. At 2pm (2 or 3 times a week) we'd have a spiritual care session with spiritual Dave, deep breath ahhhhhh". There we'd again sit in a circle and discuss spirituality and also trauma or grief we've experienced in our lives because normally that's a trigger for alcohol or drug use. At 3pm we'd have fitness. This helped a great deal with the withdrawal symptoms a lot of us felt while there. Doin a bit of cardio really gets the blood flowing and alleviates those achy muscles and joints. Fitness was between 3:15 and 4:30pm so I'd split up my time half in the gym and half playing pool volleyball which I came to learn I'm pretty good at. I'm sorry if this is getting boring but I'm sure someone'll find this helpful. 5pm would come around and I'd find myself again at the med line waiting for my predinner dose. Dinner @ 5:15 and then we'd just hang, smoke some more, shoot the proverbial shit until 7:30 when we'd have our daily AA meetings. At these AA meetings we'd either read out of Bill Wilsons AA book AKA the "big book" and talk about what we've read or we would have an hour of hearing about peoples experiences while using or we'd find ourselves up there on the podium talking about ours. I liked this and found myself volunteering to speak quite often as I had many stories to share. This went on for an hour and at around 8:30pm again we'd smoke and either chill out until the last med call at 9:15 and go to sleep after watching a little tv or every few days we'd have a "coin out" at 9:30pm. Coin out was the day before someone would be graduating from the program and leaving. We'd sit in the sofas or chairs in the common area (the pit). Where you'd sit was determined by how long you've been in the program. Just about everyday we'd get newbies which would give us a feeling of seniority :). So we'd sit there and the senior most person would begin to say nice things about the person being coined out or graduating. One by one we'd all think of something nice to say about this person leaving until we reached the newest person there who would have the same thing to say; "Well, I've only been here for a day or two but....). Then the person leaving would say a few words and we'd all bid him farewell with our little ritual. Oh, I forgot to mention, 5 times a day we'd all huddle together outside and chant the serenity prayer;

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to knooooooooooow the difference.

This was followed with our halls own personalized chant;

"We're the men of Dupont Hall, we don't need no drugs at all. Once we're lost and now we're free, thank you Betty for BFC. No lines, no hits no lsd, no smack no crack no pcp. Sobriety is what we choose so we don't need no more damn booze. Are we going to use? Hell No! Are we going to booze? Hell no! Sound off: DUPONT! Sound off DUPONT! "

I think this will forever be etched into my memory. Overall a positive experience. A life changing one. I went in there with chaos and left with serenity and order.

Cats in the cradle...

2011-08-20T16:39:00.001-04:00

Betty Ford Day 0

2011-07-21T03:24:00.000-04:00

It's soon 3:30 am which means in a few minutes I'll be off to JFK airport to catch my flight to Palm Springs California where I will be rehabilitated @ the famous Betty Ford Clinic. These words cant describe the immense appreciation I have for my brother who is footing the (rather hefty) bill for me to be at this place for at least 30 days. He obviously loves me and that is nice. I'm am so very lucky that I have a family that cares and wants only the best for me. I have friends who weren't so lucky and died bc of this shit. I've been screwing with pills since I was like 19. A Xanax here a Vicodin there. But the past 3 years or so brought new pills to my mouth. Roxys (blues), Percocet and Pannas. These would leave me in a stupor and made it easier to cope with the city I live in which I think is shit. Anyway, it's now time to grow up and clean up my act. To become a fucking man and quit being an addicted pussy. I'm confident this place will help and will use the 1 or 2 hours I get on the internet everyday to update you all on the goings on @ this Betty Ford place.

Free Again

2011-07-21T03:06:00.000-04:00

For 3 years now I've been on Felony probation for some bullshit you can read about in the archives of this blog. Probation sucks. Its like a stamp on your head letting you know everyday that you fucked up. For the first year I'd have to make sure to see a probation officer assigned to me every 2 weeks. This degrading process took place downtown where all the courts are. I'd have to go there, sign my name on a list sit and wait (more often than not for hours) with people that I can only describe as NYC's worst. Simply put, low life vagrants. We'd wait there for our probation officers to call us in to there offices to ask us questions and make sure we're not getting into trouble. This always interfered with work because I had to be there on Tuesdays anytime between 10-6. I'll repeat, really fucked with my work. 2nd year I was allowed to come visit these probation officers only once a month instead of every 2 weeks. This made my life a little easier but still I'd have to find an excuse to leave work early once a month. I would normally say I'm going to the doctor and leave early or would just take the whole day off and call in sick. Finally, since I never failed a drug test or violated my probation in anyway, I was moved to what is called the Kiosk. You see, because NY is so strapped for cash and there are so many people on probation they created this booth type thing for non risk probationers. We'd have to go there, enter our pin number into a computer and place our hands into some electronic finger print reader. The computer confirms its you with the fingerprint scan and then asks you questions like "are you still working?" "were you arrested in the past month?" and that's it. This last step (the kiosk) was a lot less a pain in the ass because we wouldnt have to wait for hours to sit with a probation officer. At that low level of supervision you actually have no probation officer anymore. I knew from day one that after I serve half of my sentence (5 years probation) I would be able to ask for early release. So I did. I did this around 3 months ago and was just giving up after not hearing anything back from my sentencing judge. People on probation are not allowed to leave the state without prior permission from the courts. For reasons I will soon write about I had to get permission to go to California. A fucking headache it is. You have go in to the probation building and beg someone to help you fill the paper work to get approved to leave the state. In the process I was informed my early release was GRANTED! I was in shock when I was told. The probation officer told me I was granted early release to which I replied. I never have to come back here again (with an undertone of disbelief)? She replied "thats right have a nice life" She said it as if it meant nothing but it did to me. I'll never forget those words coming out of that chics mouth "have a nice life" Ha.

My advice to a 14 year old on the internet asking for help on how to survive this world

2011-07-18T08:30:00.003-04:00

As a 30 year old guy, looking back at his life in retrospect, I can tell you what I'd do over. At your age I would try to find a passion. Something I absolutely love. Could be turtles could be flying planes could be anything. Then try to become an expert on that subject. Go to and finish college. Preferably studying the subject that you have already settled on that you've found you are passionate about. Take a semester or two of college abroad. Those were the funnest days of my life Make sure to have a desired profession, something that makes you more valuable than the average joe who doesnt know how to do anything. Always be independent and dont rely on anyone cause they can disapear and that will leave you in shambles. Never open yourself up totally to anyone ever. There are limits. Your SO can end up putting you into a hole of a depression that you might not ever be able to climb out of. Try to live life happiest as possible. If there are people bringing you down for any reason cut them out of your life asap.

Good luck.

Moooooooood

2011-07-16T09:31:00.002-04:00

My life will be complete when I live in a place like this...

2011-06-16T18:06:00.003-04:00

NYC Madness

2011-06-05T10:31:00.002-04:00

Shut me out - Made me think of someone special to me.

2011-05-30T19:22:00.002-04:00

With this post I make an anatomical gift.

2011-05-16T17:53:00.001-04:00

Upon my passing I would like my organs to be donated to whomever needs them to survive. I do not want any religious fanatics intervening. It is my choice and here I proclaim that it should be done. My uncle was on a waiting list for years because he needed new lungs. After waiting for years someone with the same blood type and body structure as his passed away in a motorcycle accident. This person specifically noted (before his passing obviously) that he wants his organs donated upon his death. Some asshole rabbis went to his families house and convinced his parents that it is against the Jewish religion to donate organs and so they didn't. Soon after my uncle died. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN WITH ME!

Off

2011-05-14T16:35:00.001-04:00

Dreaming about NYC [Hebrew]

2011-05-11T21:29:00.000-04:00

Must. Preserve. Life.

2011-05-09T22:01:00.001-04:00

I hate to sound cliche but I must say I am truly happy to be alive at 30. Being stuck in the city recently has really caused me to get depressed. It sometimes felt like this is the only reality I will ever see. I've read some posts on this blog from a few years ago and am slowly learning that it is because of this shit city that I've been down. I am after all one that is meant for the outdoors. I FUCKING LOVE NATURE. I love the woods, the country, the animals. I hate smog, city buses and the look of defeat on everybodys faces. Been dating a bit lately but I must say it is truly tough to meet someone who is at par with my thinking. If anyone ever came close it was a girl named Ariel whom I dated many years ago and who I will never forget.

I Miss The Old Eminem

2011-05-09T18:05:00.001-04:00

Quick Access - GillyRoze.com

2011-05-04T18:38:00.000-04:00

In our ever lasting quest to make things easier and keep with the American tradition of being lazy ass fuckers, I've now made it easier to access this page. GillyRoze.com

Hmm

2011-04-29T01:20:00.002-04:00

I think simple people weigh their accomplishments against that of their fathers. With that they know where to put themselves on the social spectrum.

Today I asked the internet community what the strangest thing they ever found was while Googling the name of someone they know. 750 comments later I share the thread.

2011-04-27T18:52:00.001-04:00

Everything from lying boyfriends to child molesting parents. Whoooah. The things people found when Googling the names of their friends, family, teachers etc...

I'll just leave this here.

2011-04-22T14:29:00.001-04:00

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” - Buddha

Because of how terrifyingly fascinating they are I've created a page with all the tsunami videos I can find

2011-04-10T22:57:00.003-04:00

Click here for tsunami blog.

Greedy

2011-04-08T23:38:00.000-04:00

A series documenting NYCs homeless my father did back in 1991

2011-04-04T16:45:00.011-04:00

The urban ocean that is Mexico City - Click to see full size and to appreciate this pic 4 wut it is

2011-04-01T23:47:00.002-04:00

Hiking the Masada

2011-04-01T22:39:00.004-04:00

While attending school abroad at TAU in Israel we went on very many trips to different parts of the country to hike mountains and what-not. We had this one trip to the Masada coming up and we wanted to do something special. As was our custom back then we wanted to mix some sorta drug into this trip. Now this was going to be a rugged 6 hour hike and we were told to prepare. We did this by baking a good ounce or so of marijuana into a batch of brownies. We decided we'd eat them on the bus while on the way. We had this very health conscious commando type guide for this trip who was always armed (in case any Palestinians wanted to "terrorize" us). Anyone who ever went on Birthright should know exactly what I mean. But this dude was different. He was very straight laced, older and by the book. Wouldn't ever drink with us and was just a health freak square. So we're all munching on these brownies when this dude comes over from the front of the bus and asks what we're all fussing about. With that we told him we got this delicious batch of brownies that one of our American parents had sent us. Yes, we fed him some. Actually, he ate a good amount and around 1 hour later we find ourselves mid hike. Not knowing he ate pot brownies he began to exclaim he feels ill. This caused many giggles and muffled bursts of laughter. We shouldn't have laughed but we did even when he became violently ill and his face became purple like an eggplant. The rest of the trip we had to tend to him and help him with just about every step. Thats how bombed he was. Whats funny is that we were just as high but we had that little bit of knowledge that we'd done this to ourselves and it will soon pass. He did not. I can only imagine how he felt when he was overwhelmed by that feeling in his stomach. Poor bastard, I know I know I'm gonna burn...

Random

2011-04-01T19:13:00.002-04:00

"Cause I love you, I do"

2011-03-31T21:27:00.000-04:00

Project - For richer or poorer

2011-03-21T22:56:00.012-04:00

Its about time I became awesome I think and so when I find time I will be going ahead and doing things that I enjoy doing again... Next thing will be this new series in which I hope to photograph homeless and raggedy looking people (not hard to find here in NYC) standing/posing in front of fortune 500 headquarters depicting the logos of multinational corporations while holding up cardboard signs saying something thoughtfully stupid like "will work for work" I will have to entice these people with drugs uhh I mean food or money and hopefully they will cooperate. I will post these pics as soon as I have em.

Places like:

Goldman Sachs

85 Broad Street, New York, NY

NYSE

11 Wall Street, NY

BOA

115 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036

J.P. Morgan

270 Park Ave, New York (under construction)

Hewlett Packard

2 Penn Plz # 8

New York, NY

Verizon Comm

140 West Street, New York, NY

and so on.

To promote awareness of corporate greed and display the current impact of the economy on New Yorkers. Sad but twill be fun. Did I mention I love hamentashen?

Sik - Nikes New Advert

2011-03-21T18:55:00.002-04:00

Hey you

2011-03-19T15:15:00.000-04:00

2011-03-16T21:55:00.003-04:00

Fukt

2011-03-15T11:10:00.000-04:00

14-17

2011-03-09T17:34:00.004-05:00

Growing up in Brooklyn pre-Giulianai was fun and dangerous. Those were the days that NYC lived up to its stereotypes. The Violence, the rape, the murderers and thieves, nothing scared me more when I was 14-17 than getting my face slashed by some black dude trying to get into the bloods. Once a month it would happen to someone at my high school. Remember American History X? The curbing, that was actually a preferred tactic here for years by local crews. My father was (still is) a Jewelery photographer who together with his family immigrated to Israel before turning one after being born in Poland. He travelled to NY a few times as a young man for art exhibits and some exhibitions of his own. My mom too immigrated to Israel around the age of 1 and was raised in a moshav or farmland most of her life before meeting my dad. By the time they'd met my pops made a name for himself as a hotshot artist/photographer and I guess my mom was kinda awestruck being an art lover. They once came to NY for an exhibition and stayed. It was terribly hard for my mother and she says she cried a lot during those days, while they were integrating. I can definitely say that I lacked nothing growing up and went on vacations regularly a few times a year, lived in a very nice house and had not one complaint. The minute I hit high school and was out of the same shit hole yeshiva that I was in since 2nd grade like many, I was a new man. Reborn. Began to enjoy life. I was DJing parties a lot as that was what I chose to do buy with my bar mitzvah money and I thought it made for a good business decision. It did, and it also made me instantly cool. I was loving it and I think High School was my favorite and most exciting part of life thus far. More so than college. We were frikin crazy youths and we did during high school what frat boys wouldn,t have the nuts to do 4-7 years older than us. So this is the part where I throw in wild stories of complete shitfaceury but since my memory is complete shit I'll leave that to our guest posters.

Dumb People.

2011-03-09T15:48:00.002-05:00

Back when I was in the electronics mail order business, some events took place that I'd like to note. Customer reviews were not all that prevalent back then and so we were sorta open to treat customers however we deemed fit. Many were straight up idiots who totally deserved to be spoken down to. This one time we had a product listed on the website for $0. It was a 65" Panasonic plasma tv. It was obviously a mistake. The person put it in his shopping cart and checked out. After an email from me explaining that it was a typographical error and that it clearly states on our terms of use section that we were not responsible for such mistakes, the customer went on to make threats explaining he's a lawyer and that he better get this $12,000 tv for $0. The person really thought he had a chance of getting it too. I had a line I used to give people who would piss me off back then and I delivered it to this at the top of my lungs. "CALL ME BACK AFTER YOU PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOU ASS!". Many more examples I can give but I'm tired so I'll update later.

Owl in Flight

2011-02-27T09:21:00.002-05:00

2011-02-25T16:44:00.000-05:00

My 30th

2011-02-24T22:49:00.005-05:00

I write this post with the new notebook computer my thoughtful brother and his wife had bought for me after learning my old comp crapped out on me. It's a great gift, it truly is. Turning 30 is not a pleasure. I thought I would have had my life more in order than it currently is. I remember when I was around 23 I was sent to see a therapist and I explained to her that I must be a millionaire by the age of 30 and if I wasn't I would be absolutely devastated. Well, I'm far from it but devastated I am not. I'm just happy to have been blessed with such a great family and absolutely awesome friends who are there for me when I need them and look out for me in every respect. I haven't had gifts given to me for my birthdays in several years but this year I was given quite a few. My mother got me a kindle which I am absolutely ecstatic to have. As I was explaing to my sister in-law Rinat, I kinda like having bookshelves with a collection of my reads and feel like when people come and visit me they can sorta get a feel for what kind of person I am by simply scanning the books I have read. This will no longer be possible with my new kindle but the trade off is well worth it IMO. To compliment that my lovely older sister got me a gift card with which I can buy several books to fill the Kindle with. My dad got me an electric shaver since the one I had fell and broke into a million little pieces. My brother and his wife though spared no expense and got me the best laptop they can find. I truly like it and am very happy with it. Dont have much to say but I did feel that a post was in order. I dont care anymore to be a millionaire, I dont care to have any more money than I need to be comfortable. I do care however to get the fuck out of this god forsaken city as soon as frikin possible. Mark my words, I will soon move to a country retreat where I plan on living simply, with nature and fresh air. Homes are relatively cheap out in the mountains averaging around 130k for a beautiful pad where I can raise a family on some acreage outside of this hectic rat race of a city.